Square Foot

“Kicking and boxing – it’s the perfect combination!” The Kickboxer has always loved combining different activities. As a kid, she would merge her chores and hobbies so she could try hockey-lawnmowing and homework-fingerpainting. But as she got older, not every combination worked out so well. Football-archery caused some trouble, and swim-jogging was nearly a disaster. With the tough sport of kickboxing, though, she’s finally found just the right combo. And thanks to lots of training, she’s gotten really good at it, too. When she’s in the ring with her protective equipment on, boxing and kicking away against a skilled opponent, she sure is glad that she didn’t go with her other idea of parasail-bowling!

“Not computing does not build!” Everything that the Robot does, the Evil Robot tries to do the opposite. If the Robot spends all his time seeking out bricks and building giant towers out of them, then the Evil Robot dedicates himself to taking them apart and scattering the bricks everywhere – under beds, inside shoes, beneath fridges and anywhere else they’ll be hard to find. The Evil Robot’s single-minded drive to be the Robot’s opposite does have certain flaws. Since the Robot walks forwards, the Evil Robot is determined to walk backwards everywhere he goes. The Robot is a hard worker, so the Evil Robot tries to be as lazy as possible. Despite all this, villains keep recruiting him to help out with their bad-guy schemes. It’s probably because he looks so cool, but they usually learn pretty fast that having an evil robot on your side isn’t always as useful as it sounds!

Hot-tempered Scotsman Groundskeeper Willie knows that manners are for weak-kneed, bath-taking lily-huggers! The groundskeeper and janitor at Springfield Elementary, Willie is proud to call his tractor, Willy, his best friend. This makes his floor buffer, Willy, very jealous.

“Me build, therefore me am!” This would-be inventor from the prehistoric past is always tinkering with sticks, rocks and the occasional bricks he finds lying around, trying to invent something new. Of course, everything he comes up with has already been invented – he’s a Caveman with a tiny little brain, after all – but that doesn’t stop him from trying. He never gets jokes and usually needs things explained to him with gestures and pictures…and even then, he gets it wrong most of the time. The Caveman is very strong and always hungry. If something looks like it might be food, he’ll try to take a bite, and if it runs away, he’ll lift his club up above his head and chase it down. Not a lot of people know it, but he’s also an excellent artist who can create incredible landscapes and murals using only the simplest of tools!

“To build, or not to build…that’s not a hard question at all!” The Thespian is a master actor, able to slip into any role you can imagine. He plays every part to perfection, from Romeo to Juliet (the lead actress was ill, and the show must go on, after all…), and receives a rousing standing ovation after each and every performance. He’s really good at celebrity impersonations, too. The Thespian started his career as a minor background player on the old LEGO Studios set, but since those days his fame has really taken off. He constantly gets offers to appear in big-budget movies and television shows, but he always declares that heart will forever belong to the stage. Of course, as much as he enjoys acting, he does occasionally confess that what he’d really like to do is direct!

No one ever took small-time crook Drury Walker seriously, so he decided to recreate himself as the ultimate Super-Villain version of Batman™ – an evil moth to counter a heroic bat. Despite his many crime-committing gadgets, including gliding wings and a web-firing cocoon gun, Killer Moth’s terrible fashion sense and his many defeats mean that nobody takes him seriously now, either!

Hip hip hooray! Here on his very first vacation trip, Robin™ has a brand-new Super Hero dad, a brand-new Bat-family to call his own, and even a brand-new ice cream cone full of scoops of tasty frozen goodness. He’s going to treasure all three of them forever and ever and ever…whoops, ice cream melts, doesn’t it? Better eat fast, Boy Wonder!

Zan™ and his sister Jayna™ are the Wonder Twins, two junior members of the Justice League. As teenagers from another planet, they are still getting used to Earth customs. When he is in contact with his sister and they both say, “Wonder Twin powers activate!”, Zan can transform himself into the form of anything he can imagine…as long as it’s made out of water, ice or steam. It’s more useful than it sounds!

A lute-playing, tattle-telling teacher’s pet, Martin Prince is the smartest kid in Bart’s class, a fact that he proudly mentions whenever possible. Perhaps not coincidentally, he is disliked by most of his classmates at school, as well as many of the teachers. Martin is the leader of the Super Friends, a group of misfit brainiac kids who meet secretly in the school’s deserted boiler room, where they can do extra-credit projects without fear of reprisal from their fellow students.

“Here’s the part where ye walk the plank!” The Scallywag Pirate hates having to do anything that’s clean and nice. Brushing his teeth, combing his hair and doing laundry weren’t for him, so at the first opportunity, he hopped on board a pirate ship and joined its crew. Now he gets to do all of the stuff he wants – fire cannons, tie sailing knots, eat horrible pirate cooking, and even wear an eyepatch. Nobody makes you keep neat and tidy when you’re a scurvy buccaneer. The Scallywag Pirate is thrilled that he gets to shave with a cutlass and never has to do any washing-up. And maybe his clothes are falling apart and his teeth have gone rotten and he doesn’t have any hair left to comb…but that’s exactly the pirate’s life that he signed up for!

“Let us get with the times!” The Queen comes from a slightly larger kingdom than the Classic King, and as such she wonders if it wouldn’t be a good idea to be a little less old-fashioned and a little more up-to-date. There are all sorts of modern conveniences that could help to improve their golden castle, like one-piece portcullis gates and base plates with built-in dungeons and walls with lovely stone-and-ivy patterns. Between the King’s big ideas and the Queen’s grand vision, their united lands are moving swiftly toward the future. New armor! New horses! New taverns and towers! In fact, the kingdom is growing so vast and successful that they’re starting to think about splitting it in two and giving half to each of their royal children. Surely that can’t lead to any trouble, can it?