DJ

“Aw, c’mon. Just hold still for a second!” Legend holds that a rare and reclusive creature called the Square Foot dwells deep within the woods. Actually, the legend is only half-right. The shaggy Square Foot does spend a lot of time out in the wilderness, but that’s because he’s an avid amateur nature photographer who’s always looking for his next great shot. Somehow, though, all of his photos end up coming out blurry. Maybe it’s because hikers and campers keep spotting his square-shaped footprints and making a big fuss about them. Maybe it’s because he needs to buy a new camera. Or maybe it’s because he always puts his hand in front of the lens. It’s definitely one hairy situation!

“Me? Why, I’m just a simple businessman.” It must be stated from the outset that the Businessman is simply an ordinary office worker. He is emphatically not, for example, a highly-trained secret agent who goes on daring undercover missions on behalf of the Crown, traveling under a humble guise in order to thwart the plots of mad scientists and evil masterminds all around the globe. The Businessman’s bowler hat is most certainly not packed with hi-tech devices ranging from sophisticated listening gear to a deployable grappling line. Likewise, his perfectly normal briefcase does not contain a hidden microcomputer, and his newspaper is not a well-camouflaged data-pad with a remote satellite uplink. Nor do his glasses allow him to see in the dark or magnify distant objects a thousandfold. No, he’s just a regular, everyday businessman, and any rumors to the contrary should be strictly ignored.

A former racing dog, Santa’s Little Helper‘s last-place losing streak finally ended when he was adopted by the Simpsons. Ever since, he’s been an integral part of the family: fetching the morning paper off Flanders’s driveway, digging holes in the yard (whether or not he has anything to bury in them), and devouring any people-food within reach. Oh yeah, and Maggie’s here, too!

Dinah Lance would be a key member of the Justice League based on her martial arts skills alone, but this bird of prey packs an extra surprise. Using her unique Canary Cry, she can scream, shout or even sing to create ultrasonic vibrations so powerful that they can shatter metal or stone. By directing her cry downwards, Black Canary™ can even use her mighty voice to fly!

“Let us get with the times!” The Queen comes from a slightly larger kingdom than the Classic King, and as such she wonders if it wouldn’t be a good idea to be a little less old-fashioned and a little more up-to-date. There are all sorts of modern conveniences that could help to improve their golden castle, like one-piece portcullis gates and base plates with built-in dungeons and walls with lovely stone-and-ivy patterns. Between the King’s big ideas and the Queen’s grand vision, their united lands are moving swiftly toward the future. New armor! New horses! New taverns and towers! In fact, the kingdom is growing so vast and successful that they’re starting to think about splitting it in two and giving half to each of their royal children. Surely that can’t lead to any trouble, can it?

“Kicking and boxing – it’s the perfect combination!” The Kickboxer has always loved combining different activities. As a kid, she would merge her chores and hobbies so she could try hockey-lawnmowing and homework-fingerpainting. But as she got older, not every combination worked out so well. Football-archery caused some trouble, and swim-jogging was nearly a disaster. With the tough sport of kickboxing, though, she’s finally found just the right combo. And thanks to lots of training, she’s gotten really good at it, too. When she’s in the ring with her protective equipment on, boxing and kicking away against a skilled opponent, she sure is glad that she didn’t go with her other idea of parasail-bowling!

“Shock and roll, my rockin’ monsters!” One day, the Monster Scientist heard about the cool hand-made monsters that all of the other mad scientists were building, so he decided to try putting together his own. He thought that he had gotten the recipe right, but some of the music he was listening to must have fallen into his creature creation’s head, because what he got was the ultimate rock ‘n roll monster! The Monster Rocker gets a real charge from rocking – literally! The more he rocks out on his guitar, the more electricity he generates, making him his own power supply and amplifier in one. When he really gets into the ghastly groove, his creepy chords can wake up the Gargoyle, set the Wolf Guy’s hair on end, and even get the Zombies tapping their toes!

“Not computing does not build!” Everything that the Robot does, the Evil Robot tries to do the opposite. If the Robot spends all his time seeking out bricks and building giant towers out of them, then the Evil Robot dedicates himself to taking them apart and scattering the bricks everywhere – under beds, inside shoes, beneath fridges and anywhere else they’ll be hard to find. The Evil Robot’s single-minded drive to be the Robot’s opposite does have certain flaws. Since the Robot walks forwards, the Evil Robot is determined to walk backwards everywhere he goes. The Robot is a hard worker, so the Evil Robot tries to be as lazy as possible. Despite all this, villains keep recruiting him to help out with their bad-guy schemes. It’s probably because he looks so cool, but they usually learn pretty fast that having an evil robot on your side isn’t always as useful as it sounds!

“Ain’t nobody quicker’n me, pardner!” The rootin’, tootin’ Cowgirl is the fastest hand in the Wild West with a lasso. Whether she’s pulling a stuck calf out of a ravine or rounding up that rascally Bandit for the fourteenth time this week, she can throw her rope quicker than anything, and catch whatever she’s aiming at, too. With the help of her lasso, the Cowgirl has been known to stop a charging bison, hoist the broken end of a bridge across a canyon, knock a water tower down to put out a barn fire, and set a runaway locomotive back on its tracks. About the only thing she hasn’t been able to do with it so far is help the Cowboy track down his missing horse…but she sure aims to try!

A lute-playing, tattle-telling teacher’s pet, Martin Prince is the smartest kid in Bart’s class, a fact that he proudly mentions whenever possible. Perhaps not coincidentally, he is disliked by most of his classmates at school, as well as many of the teachers. Martin is the leader of the Super Friends, a group of misfit brainiac kids who meet secretly in the school’s deserted boiler room, where they can do extra-credit projects without fear of reprisal from their fellow students.

Zan™ and his sister Jayna™ are the Wonder Twins, two junior members of the Justice League. As teenagers from another planet, they are still getting used to Earth customs. When he is in contact with his sister and they both say, “Wonder Twin powers activate!”, Zan can transform himself into the form of anything he can imagine…as long as it’s made out of water, ice or steam. It’s more useful than it sounds!